Went up to St.Cloud to help at GCBC and meet with Pastor Campbell. Very nice time.
Evangelist Gillmore came and I had some visits with him. I went to Bible college with his 3 sons. All of his kids are now married with their own families. Mark is at Falls BC . He has nine kids!
Weather is very nice.
Still so lonely and hurting. Praying to God for help.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Summer 2011
Well, it's been OK. I am alive and I can claim-by faith- God's promises.
I have not posted for fear of someone I once knew[or thought I knew].
Always the questions that come to my mind-
1.What went wrong?
2.How could I have done differently?
3.What can I do know?
I just feel such misery and loneliness at times that it seems like I would die of grief.
I have to write a "report" so I have to be secretive with my notes.
My life, alone and lonely for so many years. By moral choice I rejected bad company. As a new Christian[age-22], I did not have Christians close to my age. In Bible college, most were involved the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships which resulted mostly in "Hi and G-bye" acquaintances.
Years and years pass.I have no regrets about doing alot of personal evangelism as this was according to God's Word[GO! Mark16:15]. I might have actually done too much at certain times and it was hard to go alone.
Thoreau wrote- "Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!" That's what kind of life I wanted. That's what I wanted in a Christian wife and to share my life with her[sacrificially love her as we both loved and served the Lord]. Well, the opposite took place and I have never known such painful, continous sorrow. Still, by faith[Heb.11], I believe the Lord has a purpose and a plan in all of this that will bring Him all the honor and glory.
1.First and foremost, it was my fault. Just as Adam was responsible for disobedience and bringing sin into the World[Rom.5:12], so likewise I am responsible for the death of my marriage.
2.My sin was that I fell in love. I allowed the loneliness and needs in my life to take control. This quenched the filling and guidence of the Holy Spirit[John16:12-15], because He guides to all truth. The marriage simply was not God's will, therefore dead on arrival.
3.I can only pray for the past to be healed, lessons to be learned/applied and for my sons to be saved and serving the Lord. I have not been allowed by the Minn Ct system to have any kind of contact with my sons for over 2 years. All appeals I have made/submitted have not just been denied- they have not even been read nor considered!!!!!!!!!!!
It's too painful to go on. I must close.
I have not posted for fear of someone I once knew[or thought I knew].
Always the questions that come to my mind-
1.What went wrong?
2.How could I have done differently?
3.What can I do know?
I just feel such misery and loneliness at times that it seems like I would die of grief.
I have to write a "report" so I have to be secretive with my notes.
My life, alone and lonely for so many years. By moral choice I rejected bad company. As a new Christian[age-22], I did not have Christians close to my age. In Bible college, most were involved the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships which resulted mostly in "Hi and G-bye" acquaintances.
Years and years pass.I have no regrets about doing alot of personal evangelism as this was according to God's Word[GO! Mark16:15]. I might have actually done too much at certain times and it was hard to go alone.
Thoreau wrote- "Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!" That's what kind of life I wanted. That's what I wanted in a Christian wife and to share my life with her[sacrificially love her as we both loved and served the Lord]. Well, the opposite took place and I have never known such painful, continous sorrow. Still, by faith[Heb.11], I believe the Lord has a purpose and a plan in all of this that will bring Him all the honor and glory.
1.First and foremost, it was my fault. Just as Adam was responsible for disobedience and bringing sin into the World[Rom.5:12], so likewise I am responsible for the death of my marriage.
2.My sin was that I fell in love. I allowed the loneliness and needs in my life to take control. This quenched the filling and guidence of the Holy Spirit[John16:12-15], because He guides to all truth. The marriage simply was not God's will, therefore dead on arrival.
3.I can only pray for the past to be healed, lessons to be learned/applied and for my sons to be saved and serving the Lord. I have not been allowed by the Minn Ct system to have any kind of contact with my sons for over 2 years. All appeals I have made/submitted have not just been denied- they have not even been read nor considered!!!!!!!!!!!
It's too painful to go on. I must close.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
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